Wednesday, April 11, 2018

WHY I AM CHOOSING HAPPINESS

For most of my life, I've lived according to what I think other people expect me to do. Try hard in school, work towards something greater, always on -- never stopping to think about what's best for me. Even when I'm deciding what I want most in life, part of me has always thought about it will affect everyone around me.

Recently, I had a big decision to make. And when it came down to it, everyone told me: do what your gut is telling you. Choose happiness.


Life in the Lost and Found Bin is about my discovering who I am and what I really want. And while I know myself much better than when I created this blog, I think I still have a lot to learn. I have always had dreams, but I have always questioned them.

It's not that I've questioned whether or not I really want my dreams to come true. Rather, I have been clouded in self-doubt about whether or not I had the power to really make them come true. And let's be real: most people don't make their dreams come true. For some, maybe they don't have what it takes. Maybe it is about knowing the right people and having the right opportunities. But for others, I think it's about life getting in the way. The unexpected happens and sometimes you have to reevaluate what is most important to you. And I think part of maturing is realizing that sometimes your "dreams" aren't going to be your first priority. And that's okay.

So, for now, I am choosing happiness. I only recently discovered that was an option -- one that I could choose. Maybe I'm not Lena Dunham or Donald Glover, living out my dreams at 23. But everybody's path is different.

I am willing to work hard. I am willing to give my dreams everything I've got. But I'm going to do it my way. I'm okay with it taking a little longer.

That's why I am choosing happiness.


Are you choosing happiness? 

Monday, February 12, 2018

SEND TO: MINNESOTA, RE: OUR BREAKUP

Draft: Feb. 12 3:35 p.m. 

Dear Minnesota,

There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about for a while. It's something that's hard for me to admit. So please, just hear me out.


Breaks are dumb. But our break has made me realize, taking a break doesn't mean a relationship is irreparable. In fact, I believe our love can be stronger than ever.

I know it's cliche -- the whole "not knowing what you have until you've lost it." But it's true. I chose to move away during an incredibly confusing time in my life.

I was young, dumb and in love with the idea of experiencing something extraordinary. And I thought to do that, I needed to move away.

Now, I'm left missing the way you made me feel. Being with you made me a better person. I have no doubt that I am who I am because of you. The harsh cold winters made me stronger and more tolerant. The change of the seasons made me remember nothing lasts forever. The cool summer breeze at night made me -- well, let's be honest, I took that for granted at the time. In Florida, there is no breeze from April-November. It's sticky and humid. Honestly, it makes me cringe thinking about the looming return of the humidity.

But mostly, I'm homesick for the people. God, how I miss the people. Don't get me wrong, I've met some nice people here. And I cherish those friendships. However, people here aren't as aggressively nice or overly apologetic. Minnesota Nice is a thing, people. 

The state we grew up in is forever a part of our identity. It helped mold us into who we are. As a kid, I questioned my parents' choice to build a life in Minnesota. I thought, why would you ever consciously choose to stay in a state that is cold 75% of the year? But I get it now. It only took me moving away to figure that out.

Minnesota, you're not perfect (ex."cold 75% of the year"). But neither am I (ex. moved away). We've made our mistakes. Our timing was off. I wanted to try new things. You were too busy hosting the Super Bowl. But the thing is none of that matters. All that matters is that I know our story isn't over yet.

I've always loved you. And I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. Please, forgive me.


P.s. please, don't forget about me while I'm gone.




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