Friday, November 14, 2014


As a big sister to a 4-year-old, I often think about how much she hasn't experienced. There is so much she has to learn. She is so innocent, and I wish that I could preserve her innocence forever. I know that it sounds cliché, but I feel like I am missing out on so much. It was my choice to go to school away from home, and I knew that I wouldn't get to see my family as much. But no one ever told me how hard it would be to miss so much of your little sister growing up.

I think that's partially because we have such a unique relationship. Not a lot of people have a 15-year age gap with a sibling, but our age difference has brought us closer, because we have a different kind of sisterly bond. In high school, when she was old enough she would run up to me and jump into my arms to greet me when I got home from school. She cried in my arms before I went to college, saying she didn't want me to leave. My mom came into the living room asking why we were both sobbing. And at three-years-old she didn't really understand what it meant for me to go to college, and every time I talked to her on the phone she asked me when I was coming home. She still does sometimes, and it breaks my heart. I wish I could be with her all the time. 

Recently, I was thinking about all of the things I don't ever want her to feel. Here are some of the things I wish she didn't have to experience:

1. The feeling that your dreams are too big. 
Step Up

Your dreams are valid. Your dreams are beautiful. And they are all yours.
Mean Girls
2.  The feeling that you like someone more than they like you. 
New Girl
It isn't always that way. Sometimes love is uneven. There will be times when someone doesn't return the feelings you have, and there will be times when you can't return the feelings someone else has about you. But I would like to think that this happens so that you are ready for when the right person does come around, and neither of you has to question it.

3. The feeling that you are all alone.
One Tree Hill
 There are people that care. Sometimes when you are really upset, you might feel like you have no one to talk to, because no one understand what you are going through. But that's not true. And I want you to know that.

Boy Meets World

4. The feeling like you aren't enough. 
One Tree Hill
You are amazing. And don't believe them when they try to tell you otherwise.
Sara Bareilles

5. The feeling that you need to look a certain way.  

You are so much more than the world will make you think. We live in a world that places way too much value on "beauty" or what they deem as "beautiful." Make your own definition, and forget about the rest of it.

6.  The feeling that people will let you down.
There are people you can count on. It's easy to get caught up in all the bad in the world. There are bad people who do bad things. But there are so many wonderful people in the world, and they have so much to offer and so much love to give.

Grey's Anatomy
7. The feeling of a broken heart. 
Demi Lovato
 I love you more than you know, sis. And you can rant to me about boys any time. But not too soon.

Tina and Amy
More than anything, I want my little sister to know how much I think about her, and how much she means to me. I wish I could prevent her from feeling all of these things, but I know that this is just how life works. So instead, I plan to be there for her to remind her that everything is going to be okay.


  1. I loved this! My sister and I have a 14 year gap, so I completely relate. I'm 25, and she's 11, and I just want the very best for her -- and am nervous about her starting junior high! Oh my. Anyway. This was a great post :)

  2. Thanks! I haven't met that many other people with this big of a gap. It's cool, because you understand how it is to be an totally different stage of life than your sister, yet it creates a new type of bond and relationship with them. I was nervous about my sister starting preschool, so I can't even imagine what it's going to be like as she gets older. I am glad you liked the post! :)

  3. It is pretty unique. She is my half-sister, technically, but I never think about that. It really is such a special bond!

  4. Mine is, too, but I always forget, because she is still my sister. I'm so glad you have that special bond, too!

  5. I really like this and I completely understand I'm 18 and my sister is 4. I couldn't imagine life without her

  6. I feel the same way about my little sister. She brings me so much joy. Just recently I got to go home and see her for a few days, and one day I didn't see her and the first thing she said when we woke up was how much she missed me. Sisters are so special no matter the age.

  7. This is great and really important and means something to me actually. I'm the youngest of 4 girls, and all of them are gone doing there own thing, and although I do see them it's heartbreaking that I can't be with them ALL THE TIME like we used to be. It's funny too because they wouldn't want me to feel this way either, but I can relate and I feel every single one of these, and I'm sure if they knew how I'd felt they would just try to comfort me, but it doesn't actually change things, because our "sister bond" just isn't like it used to be. I read this every time I miss them, and then think of all the good times we had when we were young, and it sort of comforts me. Thanks for this!


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