Thursday, August 30, 2012

Some Nights (What Do I Stand For?)

Moment of truth: I’m so over the song “Some Nights”. –just like every over played song on the radio right now. But tonight while I’m digging through college scholarships and researching different colleges, one line stuck with me: “What do I stand for? Most nights I don’t know.”

Searching for the right college has been such a ride. I’ve thought of different places across the country, and lately, I’ve been thinking maybe I don’t want to go that far. But I don’t think it has anything to do with how far I’ll be from home. No matter how far I go, I’ll always get back home. But where I go could affect what kind of life I live. I am not sure how much it will affect what kind of person I will be, because I know what I believe in. However, college is such a huge step into becoming an adult that I honestly think it will mold me into whatever kind of person I am really meant to become.

Right now, I am searching for somewhere that will open up many different opportunities for me. But at the same time, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I really put myself out there and went for film. Would I fail? Would I hate the college? Would I get the whole college experience if I went to a school that just focused on the arts? I don’t really know, and I’ve been pulling away from it because I’m scared. I don’t want to make the wrong decision. And I don’t want to waste time and money on something that I probably won’t pursue. But there’s this part of me that screams WHY THE HECK NOT? I have the creativity. I have the brains. I have the drive. And if you don’t think I have what it takes to make it in the industry, then you have completely underestimated what I am capable of.

My right brain and my left brain are completely conflicted. But so are my head and my heart. And with everything in me so confused, the process of applying to college is becoming more and more difficult. 

I really find myself asking "What do I stand for? And what am I willing to do to fulfill my dreams?"


  1. Do it. Go for what you love. If you get there and find out that it is not for you, then you have learned something important. If you don't try, you will never know and, trust me (your really old and very wise uncle)you do not want to live with regret. You will find that most people change their majors at least once. It is all about learning about what makes you excited to get up in the morning.
    What I am going is going to be annoying. I know this because if someone said this to me at your age, I would be annoyed, but here it goes anyway. Who you are now will hardly be recognizable to you in a few years. You change dramatically...that is, if you do it right. Those that remain similar to who they were in H.S., did not experience all that college has to offer. For example, I was a C (at best) student in High School, was a hardcore Christian and was basically non-political. In college, I was on the Dean's list every semester, graduated with honor's, became a Buddhist, and was a president of several student groups and even founded several groups on campus. The JJ today is not the JJ of 1995, even though, like you, I was certain I knew who I was. Change is good, change is essential.
    Go for it, Taylor...the arts rule!
    Your Uncle JJ

  2. That just made my day. Thanks Uncle JJ


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